Monday, March 28, 2011

To my sisters, Military Wives; & our beloved HEROES.

I say (sister's) in all seriousness
 Only you know what I have known... and only I know what you have known...

I saw something online that cut me so deeply I haven't been able to get it off my mind.
I can't quote it directly anymore because when I went to find the quote it had been far removed by comments from other peoples reactions to a youtube clip from the movie 'Good Will Hunting', the comment I saw stated something along the lines, that anyone who enlisted in the military were puppets for the government administration and deserved to be... killed.
I cried when I read this - yes, I really did. It broke my heart... Is this really what people think of my husband? Is this really what they think his motive was for serving in the Marine Corps... 
and my precious friends, who have sacrificed time, memories and moments they can never get back for something they BELIEVE in...
that belief is that Freedom means sacrifice. Their sacrifice.
I am NOT starting an argument, you have the right to believe what you will. I do know this, my husband nor any of the other men I know who have served in our armed forces signed up to be government puppets. They enlisted in the military for me, you, our children, our parents, friends, sisters, and brothers...
 To undermine the motives of my husband and other men like him, and call them murderers, and government puppets made me physically ill.
I am going to share my vantage point as a military wife... and how I view 
His heart is to serve, protect, & honor his God and Country
His Sacrifice.
blistered bloodied feet
chapped faces, hands, any skin exposed to wind, and sand.
120 degree heat
below 30 at night
hot water in his canteen
socks that haven't been washed in a month plus, sometimes underwear too.
48 plus with no sleep
days with no food
witnessing the deaths of comrades he'd stood beside that very day, his brothers.
Holidays: family birthdays, halloween, his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas (our first married) New years, Valentines day...
kisses and hugs, sleeping by his new wife.
sick with no one to comfort or take care of him
fear, being surrounded by people who would love nothing more then to see him die.
the comforts of being home
his puppy, Dixie.
Walking for miles with 90 plus lbs of gear, in 120 degree heat, weighing down his exhausted body

Military wives sacrifices (from my perspective and experiences)
only tee shirts, and the clothes he wore right before he left to remind me of his smell, I never washed them.
I only shared the first month of our marriage with him
Alone in bed at night
Thunderstorms alone
cockroaches, alone (The horror)
I battled his stolen identity, alone.
holidays, birthdays, alone
my first apartment without him in it, but his clothes filling our closet
waiting for the phone to ring every second of every minute
once it fell in the toilet, the hour it took to get a new phone... was torture. What if he called.
Pregnancy scare/buying my first pregnancy test... alone
taking care of his dog, who missed him, and ate everything in our house just to prove it.
managing finances for our house hold for the first time. alone.
buying his new truck alone
living, breathing, waiting, marking the calendar alone.
fearing every knock on my door... alone.

This is minor in comparison to the women whose husbands don't come home
or the mothers.
or the fathers.
or the children without daddy's.
I realize it offends some to say that being married to someone in the Military is more difficult... but in some ways it just is...
Some girls marry Marines, Soldiers, Seamen, or Airmen with the notion that it's special or extrordinary... and it is. But they fall in love with the idea of being married to a hero and don't realize the sacrifices they too will have to make. They don't know how to really be ready to support someone who chooses a life of sacrifice, and a life of missing out on moments they can never get back... it gets hard, and scary. It gets lonely. 

The divorce rate for our Precious Heroes is one of the highest in the country.
It's a hard life to live...
but some things are just worth it. 

To my precious friends who stand beside their beloved men in uniform no matter how hard things get...

God Bless You. God bless your sweet man. Or Brother. Or Father.
We say goodbye to our husband, brothers, fathers, and friends for 4 months, 7 months, 9 months, 15 months............
Because this is their mandate; To protect the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. YOU are their mandate.

Please appreciate them.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thankful Thursday # 1

Thankful Thursday # 1

I wanted to start this weeks (34) ago, a challenge of sorts from my friend Candra to find things I am thankful for every week. Sometimes the "small" blessings get lost in the chaos of 2 boys, a husband who works full time, and goes to college full time, and trying to remember that we're out of clean towels/bowls so I need to do laundry and dishes... amongst much else, but too much to say.

I have struggled over the last two years, I have struggled in my christian walk and battled with my faith. After my family has taken some pretty hard blows, I have been unsure of what to do next, and afraid to step out on God's promises for my life because things didn't happen the way I thought they would or should...


God has been stirring me... I feel like I'm waking up.

Praise God.
I don't know if I'll remember to do this every week, for those of you that know me I am relatively hair brained, which I hope to be an endearing quality....

I hope. haha.

  1. I am thankful and blessed to be watching my eldest little boy, Levi (2)... turn into a bright, INTELLIGENT, handsome, mighty little man of God. I cried looking at him in the car today because I am just so amazed by him.
  2. He still gives me kisses on the lips, I'm really thankful because they make my day!!!
  3. I am thankful and honored God chose me to be the mother to my two little men... He chose me to raise up leaders, that blows my mind
  4. I am thankful for the last 8 months with Blaise Judah, my sweet "Bumble B" and his life time to come!
  5. I am thankful for SUCH a patient husband, as I stated above, I'm a little hair brained and he just takes it all in stride. 
  6. I am thankful God has heard my prayers to order my steps in His word, I struggle with being organized but need the stability. I've been praying God would help me be focused on organizing my/our home/finances/priorities, and more importantly teaching my children.
  7. I am thankful for fantastic gray (sidewalk by N.Y.C) nail polish! It's so super chic! 
  8. I'm thankful for the relationship my husband has with my family, it's brings me so much joy.
  9. I'm thankful for hunger for the Word.
  10. I am thankful that I know right motivation for good health is coming, I LOATHE diets, but struggle with my weight... I've been praying God would purify my motives for weight loss because I know only then will I be successful.
- The End -

Monday, March 21, 2011

Pawpaw and the pickle; In memory of my Pawpaw James Larry Williams

This is my Pawpaw
James Larry Williams 

I could cry writing this, but I won't. My Pawpaw was a SPIT FIRE, he'd get onto me if he caught me writing this memorandum with grief... so I will do it with Joy.
I want to make him proud. 

"Amongst a crowd of Angels there's a cowboy hat; That would be him"

Here's where my ABSOLUTE most favorite memory of my Pawpaw comes in.

Levi was about 5 months old in this picture - and that thing in his mouth, is in fact, a pickle...

When Levi was little he had bouts of reflux pretty badly, he'd cry and cry and I felt so helpless. There were times when almost nothing helped him and it broke my heart...

We went to visit with Pawpaw one day and Levi was fussy with his tummy. Pawpaw said "Give that baby a pickle" I said "WHAT?"... 

Give my baby a pickle?!
Many of you know I'm particular about my kids, funny about what they eat and drink. I use natural/organic remedies when they're sick, and I make their baby food, following the "they can eat this when they're this age guidelines" to a T... I wasn't so sure I'd seen pickles in the section for "Your 5 month old can eat this"
Pawpaw swore to me a pickle would cure Levi's upset stomach...

I guess a pickle is natural?

Not only did Levi thoroughly ENJOY his pickle... but sure as the sky is blue... he stopped fussing with his tummy...

I am a firm believer that pickles can in fact cure stomach aches, and that my Pawpaw is brilliant...

So sure of it in fact, that Blaise is gumming on a pickle as I write these very words...

Not only do pickles appear to cure stomach aches, they are a GREAT, COLD, teether for achey baby gums!