Thursday, September 30, 2010

CAPTIVATED.

It's 12:34am and all is quiet with the world...

Blaise is snoozing belly down - with mommy keeping a watchful eye he doesn't begin his beloved burrowing.

Levi is sleeping with his feet up on the side of the crib, he can now crawl out of...

Aaron is working overtime to bring home the bacon (turkey)
While waiting for Aaron to get home, I am looking around thinking about all I have.

This road has not always been easy... but it has been filled with so much love. We have had some really painful, some really scary, some really happy, some really funny moments. Time has moved by so quickly, one day I'm looking around myself, the next I'm looking around at the man I'm sharing my life with, and our two incredibly special children. Writing brings out the humor in me, but there is really nothing I love more then expressing how much I love, and how much I feel loved.

There are experiences in peoples lives that forever mark them, some good and some bad. Sometimes you look around and think you've been marked all over, and sometimes you realize you're really just being written. Defined by the hand of your creator. You begin to look back and see that when you were asking "why?" he was drawing your bigger picture.

Call this an "ah ha" moment... but instead of asking why, maybe I should watch and listen, maybe He's writing me out, and drawing me in.

It doesn't matter what brought me to this moment, just that it brought me.

Loved.

I have a husband, who does dishes, get's up with our two year old while I sleep because I nurse during the night, is patient when I complain... and does his best to give me everything. I have watched him become this man, I've seen him be humbled, and I've seen him grow... I've seen God change his heart, and have been honored to receive much the fruit of his growth. I couldn't possibly imagine a better father or example for my children. I stand amazed.



My two precious boys... I love watching them grow. I correct Levi for doing it, but I secretly laugh when he constantly asks "why", the staple of every child's vocabulary... because he's mine... and I don't mind smelling like baby vom throughout the majority of the first few months of Blaise's life... because he's mine. They are literally my surprises. As previously explained I "expected" G's and I got B's... I was definitely surprised... and I'm honored, God has entrusted me with with something so great... and they will be.


 thoroughly
Captivated








Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I've been schooled...


Lesson for the (last) week:
 
1.) Never take your toddler to open a new bank account, you may just leave an unintended lasting impression.




Setting: Adam the bank account representatives, getting smaller by the second, office.

 As soon as we walk in the room Levi makes a beeline for underneath the desk. I'm confident he's just displaying normal 2 year old curiosity, so I decide to leave him alone about it. As I'm watching him, I look down and recognize "the face"... As I'm observing making sure he's doing what I think he's doing... he spies me spying him... I get a swift "NoOoOo mommy!!"... and there's my answer, he's doing exactly what I think he's doing. Levi, has chosen a hiding spot. No, not for your endearing cute kid game of peekaboo. Levi, is doing his "business" in a place of business, under the account representatives desk. I am trying to wipe the look of horror off my face, and "play it cool", as the odor begins wafting through the air. Aaron dares to ask "Levi, are you pooping" (never interrupt a (my) pooping toddler) Levi: (in his best Gollum impression) "NOOOOO". I'm holding Blaise, so that's Aaron's cue, He scoops Levi up and rids us of the offensive odor permeating this very small space...
 
My hero returns with a fresh bottomed 2 year old, we give him a sucker (also, known in Levi terms as a "secret"?) and he sits down lapping away on his neon blue lolli. All is right with the world... for now.
  
We go about our business discussing the details of our new account. As he finished his lollipop, Levi began displaying signs of sleep deprivation, IE: incessant chattering about the "fider" (spider) in the corner of the room, fluttering eye lids, drooling. I, recognizing his "cues", pulled him into my lap to settle him down. Levi, appreciating my comforting gesture... proceeds to cram his hand in my shirt. Blushing, I said; "No buddy, that's private" and removed his hand...

This is what followed:

Levi: "no mommy, no mommy, ont (want) boobies" Me: "No buddy, that's private." Levi: stands up, Aaron: is bug eyed, I: am blushing. Then it happens... Levi turned to me, shoved both hands in my shirt and yells "BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES" I: am dying, Aaron: is dying, Adam: is cracking up.

smelly, and exposed... oh the horror.

I have always prayed that my family would make a lasting impact in someones life, God has a sense of humor doesn't He?




Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I might just be shot...

How I became... Mrs. P

We'll call these pictures of my husband and I "before" & "after" this can be interpreted with a double meaning... either "before we married" & "after we married" OR "before this blog post I was alive" & "after this blog post, the previous will be questionable"

you'll see why... MWHAHAHA
My heart belongs to the one on the far right...

This was me (and precious Taylor) when Aaron and I met; I was a physical therapy assistant for children with special needs.


 
        Meet the parents   
    My first dinner out with Aaron's family at Cherokee Cattle Company
(Hence the saddle)



The first time I saw him in his dress blues - wow (I'm pretty sure I drooled a little) - Aaron was a groomsman in Boomer and Mallory Bates' wedding (you'll meet them shortly)

Aaron lying down with my little sister Morgan (then age 9) because she didn't want to fall to sleep on her own... totally priceless


 
December 26th, 2005
My whole family was in on his proposal, I was sitting on the couch with my eyes closed, waiting for the gift he just "couldn't wait until Christmas to give me" this is what I heard while in the dark - front door slamming - waiting waiting waiting - front door opening. My dad: "Aaron that looks really heavy, do you need some help" Aaron: grunt, grunt, no thank you, I've got it" Aaron: "sweetie, open your eyes" Me: "sob, sob... sob sob sob." I was overwhelmed with love...


 
May 2006
just a few weeks before our wedding. Aaron was getting ready to start deployment work up, I wasn't going to see him again until our wedding so I road tripped with some friends and got an amazing weekend at the beach with him. Unforgettable.


 June 25, 2006 I am my beloveds and he is mine
(I was totally stoked that I was a "June bride")


 
I remember watching him and taking this picture. Secretly every girl can't wait to share a home with the man she's waited for. We got 1 month before he deployed and I was totally enthralled with being his wife... and apparently watching him shave...
(I was probably thinking something along these lines; "Oh my gosh... there's a man... in a towel... in my bathroom... and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him!")

ROAD TRIP
on our way to North Carolina, to stay with the Bates' for the second half of our month together
(I'm a total redneck, I gotta have my feet on the dash)


July 2006
Family day for 2/8 Weapons Company



July 26th, 2006 Deployment Day
Boomer and Mallory, Aaron and I
(Boomer and Mallory are to this day, our dearest friends... I am so thankful Boomer and Aaron introduced us)



 Saying goodbye
I will never forget how this moment felt. It's almost unreal to know you won't lay your eyes on the one you love for so long. Just after this was taken we said a final goodbye, he got on the bus, held his hand up to the window and signed 143. He had always done that when he would leave from coming home to see me. I don't think I was breathing. 

 
Mal and I just trying to keep it sane - ummm, yea.


smelly poo the love pup, missing her daddy.


 
Still working on that sanity thing - don't judge...
(I took a funny/crazy/stupid picture for every care package... I wouldn't want him to forget why he fell in love with me)



Homecoming February 21st 2007
We were some of the last to find each other, I walked along all of the buses looking and looking. By the time Mal yelled "SUNSHINE, I saw your husband" I was in tears... I totally thought they left him at Cherry Point (the air station) or in Kuwait... I turned around and he was standing there... UNexplainable


 
106 Charlton Road, Hubert North Carolina
Our first house 



June 25th 2007
Celebrating our first year at the Georgia Aquarium


 
July 10th 2008 
This was taken just before Aaron's dad and I pinned on his badge. I'm - obviously - still incubating Levi.

 
You + Me = baby we's


 
November 2nd, 2008
waiting for Levi Asher

 
 November 4th 2008 
After an emergency c-section. Levi to this day likes to make a dramatic entrance - and scare the ever livin poo out of his mother


 
When Emu's attack
a break for brief humor is always necessary when one is sharing memoirs, as to not be too mushy.
(Also: it applies here, this was Levi's first birthday)

 
Levi's first birthday party
this shirt was the last gift he opened and how we shared with everyone that Blaise was brewing.


 
July 23rd 2010
I birthed the B-man

 
Blaise Judah
Daddy overseeing Blaise's care, they were doing a little bit of extra work because as stated before - my sons may have quite possibly inherited my flare for the dramatic... Blaise swallowed 14 cc's of meconium.

 
You're the peanut butter... to my jelly...


I have chronicled many - but only few of our life's special/pivotal moments thus far... We have seen so much in our just over 4 years of marriage.
but this is why I love him the most...
My sweetheart 
this man is 100 percent, totally and completely, my very best friend...

smushy, smushy, smushy...



                                           












Saturday, September 18, 2010

Oh, taste and see; that the salad is good. The diary of a diet drop out.

Diary of a diet drop out
 The woes of an ordinary girl, trying to lose the booty; 1 diet at a time.


My diet hit list:
  • Atkins - I'm not by nature, much of a carnivore... I am however, by nature... a carbivore
  • South Beach - complicated recipes, difficult to find/expensive ingredients
  • diet pills & splenda - make you a vicious beast; enough said.
 Bootys, munchkins, and tofu.

I am 5 foot 3 inches, and have been blessed with the "McBrayer" petite stature, big booty, big else where's (haha) and a leg length worthy of the lolipop guild themselves. To put it straight, I'm tall for the women in my family... and that's a stretch (no pun intended)...(okay, it's totally a pun)

I have never been tiny. I think at the smallest I've been I was a 6/8. That was in high school - most of my friends were 2's and 4's... a 6/8 isn't far off (but you know high school) but I knew that a 2/4 was just not something my body would do. Especially since I've had 3 pregnancies, 2 full term... my son Levi was born via c-section, my body changed some, but a week after his birth I had lost 32 pounds. I had my 8 week old via VBAC (hooray!) I swear to you, with Blaise... I physically watched my hips widen and my body totally change shape. I was shocked (hello, what was I expecting... I did deliver a miniature person... but a PERSON none-the-less)  

I have always stressed over my weight and size. I had a lot of health issues growing up, and took steroids, amongst other meds consistently from age 5 causing major fluctuations in weight. When I was 17 my mom started looking into alternative medicines... nothing conventional docs were doing was helping me anymore.  I began eating organic/whole foods and saw a drastic change in my body... not only in my medical health, but also in my weight. At 19, just before and after meeting my husband, Aaron... I got serious, used portion control, ran every other day... and lost 30 pounds in 3 months.

RUN big bootied one, RUN.

 Can I tell you how much I HATE running... every step my mind says "just stop, take a break". I have to set goals for myself... "Sunshine, get to that stop sign up there, Sunshine get to that crack in the side walk up there" every few yards there was a stick, crack, or someones unwelcome dandilion greeting me and ushering me to the spruce tree or the mailbox just ahead. By the time I met Aaron I was running about 3 to 4 miles, didn't even look at a french fry, and only ate things the size of my fist. It may sound pathetic that mailboxes, and weeds, spurred me one... but it taught me discipline to set a goal, and reach it...

So... why am I writing this? 

It begins... it's time to feel better about myself, get healthy, and be a good example to my children of (not perfection) but health, confidence, and discipline. It's all about balance, I'm breastfeeding so my approach will be have to be different... I have to maintain a higher caloric intake to keep up with my hoover for an 8 week old...

I'll update on my successes and woes... I may whine some... but I'll keep it all in good humor. 
I Promise.

So, if you see a big haired blond chick, running for a stop sign like Forest ran for Jenny...

that might just be me.












Thursday, September 9, 2010

A 2 year old take over...

 It's time I formally introduced you to my oldest, Levi Asher: feared by household pets everywhere.



Levi will be 2 in November, however, he is displaying the 2 year old antics everyone "warns" you about. I say warns with quotations because I also refuse to call 2 "terrible". It's more like, trying... yea, trying is a good word for it. By all appearances Levi is confident in his ability to control a situation using various methods (kicking, screaming, food throwing, snatching, extreme cuteness) but... I'm pretty sure his extremely strong will is a sign of impending greatness.

"the mean mug"
 
As you've probably figured out, since he is my first... this is my first encounter of the 2 kind...

I'm embracing this very independent, intelligent little person. A little person, still my baby... but, a talking in full sentences, requesting oatmeal instead of spaghetti, dog kicking... little person. Where did the time go?


 to all of the mommies staring 2 down the barrel:
 ... here are some things I have learned.

You have to meet them where they are... and no, I don't mean if they're pitching a tantrum you pitch one too... as much as you may feel like it (if you do, just don't let them see you... they understand a double standard even if they are only 3 feet tall) I mean... strength for strength you have to match them. I want Levi to be strong, independent, and unafraid to be set apart, I want him to know he has choices... but he also has boundaries that we establish in his life to keep him safe, teach him wisdom, and help him learn to make the right choices. Some may think this is beyond his age... but this mindset is established now. Who we are in front of him, and who we teach him to be now, will establish his foundation and influence his life's choices.

I say that like I know what I'm talking about, but some days... you might just find me, locked in the bathroom, lying in the floor; belly down, kicking and screaming...

 2 has brought us:

1) food, lot's of food... but not in Levi's belly; on the walls, floor, ceiling (seriously), clothes, hair, even on Bentley, our elderly, embittered house hold cockapoo...
basically every surface area of our home... and person
 2) obsessions with flip flops, hot wheel cars, tractors, our beloved 72 year old neighbor Roy, and... oatmeal?
 3) Levi's favorite words "mommy, mommy, why?" "NoOoOoOoOo" "top it" (stop it) "kick, kick, kick" (poor Bentley) "RAWR, AHHHHH, OHHHHHHH, AHHHHHH, RAWR"

and the biggest challenge of them all:

telling this face...no.









Sunday, September 5, 2010

Bouncers & night night turtles; life, liberty, & the pursuit of sanity

This is Blaise
and this is what Blaise looks like around 5am or so...

I had it easy with Levi, nurse, change, swaddle, lay down and he would fall to sleep on his own. Levi to this day sleeps a 12 - 14 hour night, no mess, no fuss.

Blaise however, is a different breed - So mellow, snuggly, and sweet natured... but with this little boy, I need a "how to make your newborn sleep" manual. Following Levi's protocol has not worked, vibrating bassinets do not work, he loathes the "swaddle", shushing does not work, lights off does not work, boppy is not safe, and Blaise who prefers sleeping on his belly, also enjoys burying his face... he does not yet understand the concept of comfort and the ability to breathe.

I, in much distress last night, got desperate and sent my husband to Levi's room for the
"night night turtle". Blaise has an affinity for lights and shiney things; as do most 6 week olds, and the turtle projects an array of green, blue, or orange stars on the walls and ceiling. 

Blaise, in bouncer, bouncer vibrating, night night turtle's stars shining high... eyes wide open. I mean, I knew he'd look at the stars, but I thought they would serve to distract him from the fact that he was not being held... it worked for about 3 minutes, then came the grunting.
My plot to foil his 5am antics... failed.

This is the part where I began begging, who imagines in their pregnancies with their beloved. cuddly, precious pumpkins; that you'll find yourself, all but on hands and knees begging this tiny innocent person... for mercy. 

I say this with all the humor in the world, because I find him funny. Displaying his stubbornness even at 6 weeks old. He almost makes me feel guilty lying there grunting that way. He's so sweet about it, he doesn't demand by screaming... he just grunts and waves his fat little arms, like "mommy, please oh please, I'm so cute and snuggly. Pick me up and I promise I'll fall right to sleep" and his word is his bond... sometimes I pick him up and before I can look down he's passed out, head hanging back, mouth wide open. "gotcha mommy"

 I say all this - exhausted and quite possibly haggard looking - with all of the joy in the world. Sleepless nights will come and go, but seeing little bitty faces staring up at you, needing you, is the most precious gift you could ever receive...






Saturday, September 4, 2010

why the ice cream man has big hairy knuckles, & why I started this blog

So, first of all, I will explain the odd title of this - my very first official blog post - I did start a previous blog that disappeared into the abyss somewhere - because I could not procure a background of my liking. Temper tantrums get you no where, and leave you blogless. Try try again; a year later.

The ice cream man drove by today; he had big hairy knuckles. This sentence in fact, taught me how to properly use a semicolon. I was unsure of the correct usage of this obscure (at least in my grammatical career which is not extensive) punctuation mark so I decided to "google" it. This is what google turned up for me http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon. Another example given "My Aunt also had hairy knuckles; she loved to wash and comb them". Um, I'll stop there.

I am by nature a writer ( however, not necessarily a grammatically correct one... don't judge). It's a release for me, it always has been.

About me:
I am first a foremost: a worshiper - I have a heart after Him, I don't always get it right, I don't profess to have it all together as a Christian... but I love Him.

I am a wife - I have had a variety of labels in our marriage, Military wife (USMC) & Police officers wife,  I am honored to have been married to my husband Aaron for 4 years this past June. We have seen a lot of life within our few years of marriage; deployments, moves, losses, babies, achievements, a few tears, sometimes mass chaos w/ two boys, a career, and soon now he'll be a full time college student... I wouldn't do it with anyone else, He truly is my beloved and my best friend... and we're never bored



I am a mommy - I have two little boys Levi (22 months) and Blaise (6 weeks) - I just have to say, I always assumed I'd have girls; I am one of 3. so when I had my first son, I opened his diaper and cracked up... "Oh my gosh, you really are a boy" -  when I had the ultrasound with my second son Blaise (assuming having one boy had been a fluke & all future children would be girls) I was waiting to hear "Congratulations, it's a girl" as she moved the scanner doohickey over my belly and we got a good view of little legs... I saw it before anyone else... jaw on the floor in total shock (so long mommy's intuition) there it was... another bitty boy part. I open diapers to this day and laugh a little bit. I never saw myself as being a good mom to boys, I am ultra girlie, don't like sports etc... however, it is the most PERFECT fit. I'm mad about these two little boys, whether I'm making block towers, removing play-doh/wretched winged creatures from Levi's mouth, food from walls, nursing every hour and a half, being spit up all over, or dodging pee... I couldn't imagine it any other way.




I am slightly but endearingly dramatic (or so I like to think) I'll explain: I yell at bugs, don't like strange smells, cry at ASPCA commercials, my eyes do the talking, and I have big blond hair - southern style. Oh yea, and I have mild road rage - so if you see a big haired, blond chick barreling (safely) down the road, hollering kid friendly obscenities with two little boys in tow... part the seas, that might just be me.