Wordless Wednesday #1

To my sisters, Military Wives; & our beloved HEROES.

I say (sister's) in all seriousness

 Only you know what I have known... and only I know what you have known...

I saw something online that cut me so deeply I haven't been able to get it off my mind.

I can't quote it directly anymore because when I went to find the quote it had been far removed by comments from other peoples reactions to a youtube clip from the movie 'Good Will Hunting', the comment I saw stated something along the lines, that anyone who enlisted in the military were puppets for the government administration and deserved to be... killed.

 

I cried when I read this - yes, I really did. It broke my heart... Is this really what people think of my husband? Is this really what they think his motive was for serving in the Marine Corps... 

 

and my precious friends, who have sacrificed time, memories and moments they can never get back for something they BELIEVE in...

that belief is that Freedom means sacrifice. Their sacrifice.

 

I am NOT starting an argument, you have the right to believe what you will. I do know this, my husband nor any of the other men I know who have served in our armed forces signed up to be government puppets. They enlisted in the military for me, you, our children, our parents, friends, sisters, and brothers...

 

 To undermine the motives of my husband and other men like him, and call them murderers, and government puppets made me physically ill.

I am going to share my vantage point as a military wife... and how I view 

MY MARINE.

 

His heart is to serve, protect, & honor his God and Country. 

 

His Sacrifice.

 

blistered bloodied feet

chapped faces, hands, any skin exposed to wind, and sand.

120 degree heat

below 30 at night

hot water in his canteen

socks that haven't been washed in a month plus, sometimes underwear too.

48 plus with no sleep

days with no food

witnessing the deaths of comrades he'd stood beside that very day, his brothers.

Holidays: family birthdays, halloween, his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas (our first married) New years, Valentines day...

kisses and hugs, sleeping by his new wife.

sick with no one to comfort or take care of him

fear, being surrounded by people who would love nothing more then to see him die.

bullets

wounds

the comforts of being home

his puppy, Dixie.

Walking for miles with 90 plus lbs of gear, in 120 degree heat, weighing down his exhausted body

Military wives sacrifices (from my perspective and experiences)

 

only tee shirts, and the clothes he wore right before he left to remind me of his smell, I never washed them.

I only shared the first month of our marriage with him

Alone in bed at night

Thunderstorms alone

cockroaches, alone (The horror)

I battled his stolen identity, alone.

holidays, birthdays, alone

my first apartment without him in it, but his clothes filling our closet

waiting for the phone to ring every second of every minute

once it fell in the toilet, the hour it took to get a new phone... was torture. What if he called.

Pregnancy scare/buying my first pregnancy test... alone

taking care of his dog, who missed him, and ate everything in our house just to prove it.

managing finances for our house hold for the first time. alone.

buying his new truck alone

living, breathing, waiting, marking the calendar alone.

fearing every knock on my door... alone.

This is minor in comparison to the women whose husbands don't come home

or the mothers.

or the fathers.

or the children without daddy's.

 

I realize it offends some to say that being married to someone in the Military is more difficult... but in some ways it just is...

Some girls marry Marines, Soldiers, Seamen, or Airmen with the notion that it's special or extrordinary... and it is. But they fall in love with the idea of being married to a hero and don't realize the sacrifices they too will have to make. They don't know how to really be ready to support someone who chooses a life of sacrifice, and a life of missing out on moments they can never get back... it gets hard, and scary. It gets lonely. 

The divorce rate for our Precious Heroes is one of the highest in the country.

It's a hard life to live...

but some things are just worth it. 

To my precious friends who stand beside their beloved men in uniform no matter how hard things get...

God Bless You. God bless your sweet man. Or Brother. Or Father.

 

We say goodbye to our husband, brothers, fathers, and friends for 4 months, 7 months, 9 months, 15 months............

Because this is their mandate; To protect the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. YOU are their mandate.

Please appreciate them.

Thankful Thursday # 1

Thankful Thursday # 1

I wanted to start this weeks (34) ago, a challenge of sorts from my friend Candra to find things I am thankful for every week. Sometimes the "small" blessings get lost in the chaos of 2 boys, a husband who works full time, and goes to college full time, and trying to remember that we're out of clean towels/bowls so I need to do laundry and dishes... amongst much else, but too much to say.

I have struggled over the last two years, I have struggled in my christian walk and battled with my faith. After my family has taken some pretty hard blows, I have been unsure of what to do next, and afraid to step out on God's promises for my life because things didn't happen the way I thought they would or should...

BUT

God has been stirring me... I feel like I'm waking up.

Praise God.

I don't know if I'll remember to do this every week, for those of you that know me I am relatively hair brained, which I hope to be an endearing quality....

I hope. haha.

1. I am thankful and blessed to be watching my eldest little boy, Levi (2)... turn into a bright, INTELLIGENT, handsome, mighty little man of God. I cried looking at him in the car today because I am just so amazed by him.
2. He still gives me kisses on the lips, I'm really thankful because they make my day!!!
3. I am thankful and honored God chose me to be the mother to my two little men... He chose me to raise up leaders, that blows my mind
4. I am thankful for the last 8 months with Blaise Judah, my sweet "Bumble B" and his life time to come!
5. I am thankful for SUCH a patient husband, as I stated above, I'm a little hair brained and he just takes it all in stride. 
6. I am thankful God has heard my prayers to order my steps in His word, I struggle with being organized but need the stability. I've been praying God would help me be focused on organizing my/our home/finances/priorities, and more importantly teaching my children.
7. I am thankful for fantastic gray (sidewalk by N.Y.C) nail polish! It's so super chic! 
8. I'm thankful for the relationship my husband has with my family, it's brings me so much joy.
9. I'm thankful for hunger for the Word.
10. I am thankful that I know right motivation for good health is coming, I LOATHE diets, but struggle with my weight... I've been praying God would purify my motives for weight loss because I know only then will I be successful.

- The End -

Pawpaw and the pickle; In memory of my Pawpaw James Larry Williams

This is my Pawpaw

James Larry Williams 

I could cry writing this, but I won't. My Pawpaw was a SPIT FIRE, he'd get onto me if he caught me writing this memorandum with grief... so I will do it with Joy.

I want to make him proud. 

"Amongst a crowd of Angels there's a cowboy hat; That would be him"

Here's where my ABSOLUTE most favorite memory of my Pawpaw comes in.

Levi was about 5 months old in this picture - and that thing in his mouth, is in fact, a pickle...

When Levi was little he had bouts of reflux pretty badly, he'd cry and cry and I felt so helpless. There were times when almost nothing helped him and it broke my heart...

We went to visit with Pawpaw one day and Levi was fussy with his tummy. Pawpaw said "Give that baby a pickle" I said "WHAT?"... 

Give my baby a pickle?!

Many of you know I'm particular about my kids, funny about what they eat and drink. I use natural/organic remedies when they're sick, and I make their baby food, following the "they can eat this when they're this age guidelines" to a T... I wasn't so sure I'd seen pickles in the section for "Your 5 month old can eat this"

 

Pawpaw swore to me a pickle would cure Levi's upset stomach...

I guess a pickle is natural?

Not only did Levi thoroughly ENJOY his pickle... but sure as the sky is blue... he stopped fussing with his tummy...

I am a firm believer that pickles can in fact cure stomach aches, and that my Pawpaw is brilliant...

So sure of it in fact, that Blaise is gumming on a pickle as I write these very words...

Not only do pickles appear to cure stomach aches, they are a GREAT, COLD, teether for achey baby gums!

When kid containers become posessed; and why I'm so glad I'm saved...

Fishing trip +

Levi (2)

Blaise (7 months)

Mommy (25)

Daddy (28)

(Parental ages included for visual consistency) 

= Mass CHAOS/diving in goose poo contaminated lake water to make a daring rescue...

(don't get too worried, it's not what you think)

Yes, you may be thinking:

"Sunshine & Aaron, WHY, did you ever go there?" 

 This I say to you: 

I blame it on a temporary loss of the common sense God gave me...

A brief history lesson...

 Sometimes I look around, and think to myself (occasionally out loud) "Did that really just happen?" Anyone who knows me, knows I have an affinity for getting myself into (we'll call them unique) situations... Today was a whopper.  Be it catching weird illnesses (once I had something called "Labrynthitis" (an infection of the inner ear, like, way deep down in there) Symptoms: Vertigo (I.E. inability to walk, b/c the world whirls about you, and you're too busy throwing up b/c you can't seem to get a hold of your equilibrium, your speech is slurred, and you walk like someone who's been on a 3 day drinking binge) Yup, I totally caught that, also how I figured out I was preggers with Levi!

(it's just strange, you've got to admit)

more current, but still history... 

We have had Levi's "Spida Man" fishing pole hidden in our bedroom for a couple of weeks now because Levi did not understand the concept that fish live in lakes... I'm pretty sure "catching" your baby brother, who is not a fish, nor any other form of aqua life, was not it's intended purpose...

A day that will live in infamy...

(I'll tell it like the tale it is)

"One small step for (Levi), one giant (show) for mankind"

When we laid Levi down for his nap, and laid his head to rest on the promise that if he took a good nap... we were going fishing. One and a half hours later we hear from Levi's room "DADDY, MOMMY, I ONNA GO FISHIN, I ONNA GO FISHIN!"... Aaron and I looked to one another adoringly "AWWWWWWE... He's so excited" says I. 

In preparation for our trip, Aaron took Levi to the back yard and showed him how to cast and reel (obviously assistance was required.)  We got everything together, (Spida man fishing pole included) Fishing is actually a special and favorite past time for Aaron and I, we did  a lot of it in North Carolina (I did most of the actual catching, muhaha) So... We were super excited to pass on our favorite past time to our 2 year old (again, what were we thinking?) 

We got to the Lake, got everything out of the car... Blaise was sleeping (perfect) ... (he woke up 2 seconds later)... We made our way to the shore line and set Levi up with his pole... he was content slapping it in the water, screaming "COME HERE FIIIIIIIIIIIISH"... Aaron and I cast a few lines, Blaise was content in the stroller... things were going nice and smooth (aside from massive amounts of goose poo) Levi and I decided to walk down the shore line, and Aaron stood by Blaise working on his pole. As we made our way down the shore line a little ways, Levi kept getting closer and closer to the water...I kept fussing at him and telling him to stay back (anyone who knows my child knows he's about as stubborn as fat on butter) I cast my line and was reeling away while watching Levi throw rocks in the water and... SPLASH! (oh my gosh) Levi slipped on mud, and fell in the water (and goose poo) thank the Lord the water was only about 5 inches deep, he came out muddy, but none too worse for the wear (Thank you Jesus)

By that time Blaise had decided he loathed the car seat (attached to the stroller) So Aaron and Blaise were making their way toward us...

We cast a few more lines and then IT happens...

Out of the corner of my eye I see something moving toward the lake... 

I see a man running...

I re-adjust my focus and realize, our stroller AND car seat... has plunged to it's death (okay, less dramatically, it's goose poo'd soaking) and is sinking rapidly (pacis, shoes, two sweet teas, baby toys and some sani-wipes all met their demise) Aaron hands me Blaise and takes off running toward the stroller, where a man who saw the tragedy take place was also headed... 

this is the worst part...

 The stroller was on a FLAT patch of ground, about 6 feet from the shore line, with the BRAKES engaged!!! All we can figure is that a gust of wind (it was extra windy) caught the shade and blew it into the water? I was standing there watching, with a muddied Levi yelling "I NOT WEAVIN" (fat on butter) and my poor poor husband wading into 4 feet of COLD, crap infested water trying to rescue Blaise's stroller and car seat! Some how along the way Aaron got a fishing hook stuck in his flip flop, a few curse words were "muttered" and Aarons flip flops also met their demise by homicide (drowning)

40 minutes, a February swim, a few curse words, a tantrum for "pwetzels", finagling a toddler seat into a rear facing infant seat, a sopping stroller and car seat in the trunk, the eyes of every person around the lake seemingly boring holes into our foreheads, a toddler nervously strapped into a regular seat belt, and a shot set of mommy, and daddy's nerves later... we have just completed out very first family fishing trip... 

EPIC FAIL... funny memories

At the time I was so stressed out, I didn't find the humor in the whole situation...

But here's a few thoughts:

(1) Levi only fell in 5 inches of water and goose poo, thank you Jesus for protection (and thank you for a healthy immune system)

(2) Blaise was not in his car seat, again thank you, thank you, Jesus for protection!

(3) Aaron can always buy new flip flops :)

(4) If we had caught that on video, we could have sent it to America's funniest home videos

(it totally would have won)

(5) Prayerfully since we know God covers a multitude, he gave the people witnessing our very public melt down, grace for two flailing, panicked parents just trying to keep it together...

 (6) we learned, we will never, ever, EVER, attempt fishing with an infant and toddler again... There is a no fishing until an age 5 MINIMUM. 

A day in the life... Thank God for His grace.

  

 

 

Just call me; an oatmeal mom.

Much ado about granola [these days]

The "Granola" mom

Stigmas  
you may find attached to these moms:

• unshaven - I totally shave my legs 

• odd hiking sandals - I'd take stilettos over teva's in a hot second

• "tree huggers" - I don't often find myself hugging our barked branched foliage, but I do appreciate their shade in the summer.

• Bad birthday cakes - I hear talk of those that dread us "organic mommies" birthday cakes for our kids... Well, some may call me a failure but I totally order cakes from publix, cake making is just not a talent I possess

Granola qualities I qualify for:

• odd painting techniques - yup, our rooms are painted with no VOC paints - and the colors are not "brown, brown & brown"

•  baby wearing & boobies in public - well yes, I wear my kid around & he likes it... and yes, I breastfeed (covered) in public... it's these awesome things called "udder covers" "hooter hiders" etc... don't worry, you won't see my "me's" even though I see you gawking.

• Yup, my sugar is brown... not bleached and I like it like that. Same goes with my flour

• My kids use natural shampoos, toothpastes, and laundry detergent - and -oh my gah- they still smell good.

• My "granola" go to's: Colloidal Silver (natural antibiotic), Chamomilla & Arnica (grumpy teethers) Coconut oil (eczema etc.) homeopathic tummy drops (for gas etc) Emu oil (natural steroid, incredible moisturizer) - even celebs use it. I'm just cool like that.

• To shot, or not to Shot - we'll leave it at that.

I don't do "granola" perfectly, I'd probably consider myself more of an "oatmeal" mom.

• We eat out - I will never say no to Chick-Fil-A or Chinese takeout

• I [gulp] bleach my hair...I was born blond, but it didn't stick and I prefer it.

• I cook like a true blue southern woman - no tofu included. Just because my chicken is "free range" and my flour is organic and unbleached, or my milk didn't come from a cow who shot up steroids with Roger Clemons; doesn't make my fried chicken any healthier then yours.

• I make my own baby food - but I can't bring myself to give my kids dessicated liver powder in their "super porridge" just b/c it's a good source of iron... ICK!

• Lindt truffles; are totally conventional chocolate

• Coke is a southern staple and I'm southern, nuf said.

• I don't know what my carbon footprint is... but I'm sure you'll see it because I live in a household of 8.

• There have been times in our lives when financially we couldn't afford the "organic chicken" over the "natural chicken" but we do the best we can.

To all of you mommies be you conventional, oatmeal, or full on granola; 
making informed decisions for our children in our day and age can be scary & hard. We all do the best we can with what we have and that's what matters. It's the heart behind our motives that means everything and makes us wonderful mommies.

- The Shine


A [inexpensive] lunch thought for the week:

Organic black bean roll ups

You'll need:

1. 1 can of black beans
2. 1/2 a can or 1 cup frozen whole kernel corn (or to taste)
3. 1 red bell pepper (or to taste)
4. diced chilis (you don't have to use these, though they are spicy)
5. Tortillas
6. cream cheese
7. pepper jack cheese slices
8. spinach leaves

Add ingredients  1 - 4 in a pot and simmer until nice and hot, spread cream cheese onto tortillas, spoon in black bean mixture, top with pepper jack cheese slices and spinach leaves.

Roll em up, slice, and serve. Kids AND adults love em, and they're healthy!

Two year old takeover; Part 2

Every mommy knows that as madly in love with our children as we are, there are "those" days...

Today is mine.

I'm madly in love with everything about Levi, he's spunky, silly, creative, loud, our family prankster, and oh so intelligent. I have to keep him busy, or his mischievous nature will rear it's naughty little head. IE, throwing cell phones, money, bills, etc. down our air vents, trying to use the bathroom/shower by himself, throwing my neatly folded laundry everywhere, chasing Bentley, the embittered elderly cockapoo with a broom, and oh yea... he thinks it's cool to try to stir the pots on our stove (oh my gah)... none of these things are bad behaviors, just busy behaviors.

Today, oh today

Levi is still cutting his two year molars, these will make any child have moments where you feel that if they don't stop, screaming, whining, snotting, & drooling... that you might scream/whine/snot/drool with them.

He could out crab the crabbiest person...

These things remind me of a life lesson I hear in an echo that sounds... a lot like my mothers voice.

"7 x 7"

for I, yes, I myself... was very much like my eldest child. 

Now, I have to say...All of these things are the things that make me incredibly proud he's mine, make me laugh when I think "this must be what my mom was talking about" and leave me wondering how she, and some times I, made it out alive. I was afraid of nothing... I brought home spiders, caught snakes and scorpions, and thought it was awesome to climb trees, ride my bike and roller blade off ramps... just like the boys in my neighborhood did... this often led to atrocious wounds. Upon meeting my husband, and desiring to be all things lovely... I was appalled at the thought of him seeing my gnarly proofs of childhood escapades... thankfully, he just laughed.

As feminine as I was, I was equally as tomboy.

who would figure me for a wild one... right?

Anyhow

All of the things that scared my mom about me, scare me about Levi. I just have to pray the Lord would guard him every day, and give Aaron and I wisdom in our approach to teaching him, patience, kindness and self control. 


Please don't misunderstand me, ask anyone who knows him. He lights up a room like a christmas tree, he is an absolute joy. As I've said before I very much believe that his strong will was built for something incredible. The fact that I get to witness his life, and that God entrusted me to teach him, is an absolute honor. Maybe that's why He put an equally strong will in me.

Now, I give everyone permission to pray that...

1.) Levi's two year molars hurry up
2.) that I survive