cleaning house...

CHORE # 1: BE ON TIME...

Some times I ask myself (and God) why so many things have to change at one time. I like to say I'm good at keeping up with the pace. but many of my friends who know me well... know I run rather behind. You know that saying "oh, her... she'll be late to her own funeral"... yea, that's me. Actually, I can imagine worse has been said by disgruntled friends and family members who always seem to be waiting on me to catch up.

I don't know what it is. It's like I was born in slow motion (36 hrs it took me to arrive on this planet I believe) and I've moved in slow motion ever since. It's sort of a family joke.

No matter how hard I try. Someone poops. Someone pee's. Someone loses a shoe, or a lunch box or an eye... Someone spills milk down the front of their shirt... 

 

It's insanity I'm telling you.

I've decided (rather God has decided) it's time for some house cleaning starting with number uno. me, myself, and I... and I'm going to be there on time...

I asked advice via Facebook today (dangerous I know) but I needed tips and tricks on time savers for other mommy friends. I got some good advice... though some times I still swear their are unseen forces at work when I'm rushing to go somewhere (unseen b/c they're out of my line of sight... I.E 3 ft and under) 

See, It's not always my fault...

CHORE # 2: INSECURITY; YOU MAKE ME UGLY CRY, AND MESS UP MY MAKE UP. 

We're breaking up...

God is doing a bigger work in my life. My desire to worship has grown immensely in the last few weeks... listening to bible studies and worship music daily. I was SO dry but I'm starting to feel that hunger... only the hunger you can know if you've eaten before and your body knows it needs food, so when you're "empty" you stomach growls... or in my case... my heart longs. 

God has removed things from my life lately... and sometimes, frankly, the refinement process sucks.

 It's not fun to see how wrong you've been, how distracted you've been... how you've let your heart get to a place you shouldn't have. Sometimes it takes jumping over a hurdle (or 127) to get to your "ah ha moment" annnnnd If you're anything like me; sometimes you look a short distance away and realize there was a taxi waiting to take you to said cerebral break through. HELLO flashing neon sign atop of said Taxi... MAYBE I should have listened to you honking the horn 127 hurdles ago?!?!?!?!?! Okay, what am I talking about? Some times God says "don't go there, there's a better way" and sometimes our stubborn little human selves go the long/hard/I have short legs and it's hard to jump this high way... because we just HAVE to learn the hard way... 

 

 To be brutally honest...

I've always struggled with insecurity, always hoping to belong to this group or that... always wanting to have someone who understands, someone to talk to. At times I've neglected the One who knows me best though... I think God has removed certain things from my life, some of those being friendships that really mattered to me... all because I didn't realize that I had allowed insecurity in these friendships to eat at me. Insecurity can be a nasty thing because it can warp your perspective and make little things big, and hurt more painful. It put me in such a negative frame of mind... and I HATED that feeling. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a pretty bubbly kind of girl... but oh how the woes of insecurity can make the bubble burst. Such an ugly tool of the enemy, it really is. I am really hard on myself... I re-think, double think and over think about how I could've, should've, would've.... but could've, should've would've will kill you, or make you look like a bumbling idiot in the least. I have been guilty of this. Insecurity will make a moron out of you...it will make a mole hill a mountain and a dip a crater. I think we all struggle with it to an extent... but it's one of my deeper personal struggles.

Two VERY random dealings God's been having with me... but they are two of my biggest and I'm so "there" right now.

But can I please say... I have been filled with more JOY, and more PEACE in the last couple of weeks than in the last year. HOORAY for Godly change

Always - The Shine

Friend.

First I will say... we are in an incredible place of discovery in our marriage, as parents, in a new home... I am SO blessed. I am SO thankful. I am SO amazed...

but my heart has been heavy lately.

I've always really struggled with dwelling on things, hurting over them, milling over them, stewing about what I should have done differently. I'm very hard on myself...

I care too much about what people think of me... I always have. I have been known to wear make up to the grocery store, change my imperfect outfit 62 times, or duck when I see someone I know and my "face" isn't done... 

hahaha... 

I'm working on it.

BUT there's one area where I really  have to stop... 

I have to stop losing sleep over what people are thinking, or saying, or how I make people feel. Granted, it is important to guard the feelings of others BUT when it's at your own detriment, it's not healthy, and not okay. I'm supposed to care more about what God says than what other people are saying or what I'm afraid they're saying... and I have to realize that if and when people are saying things, be they untrue, skewed, manipulated or just misunderstood... I have to trust that God will vindicate me.

Have I ever said more about someone then I should have, yes. 

Have I ever gossiped, yes.  

 I think most women alive struggle not to do these things... 

women are hard on each other...

I have tried to be a good friend though, I really have. Have I always succeeded, no. Have I always been what I needed to be, no. Have I always not allowed what others said or did not to cloud my judgment... unfortunately no. 

I think we're all guilty of that.

I do think we should all try to pour into one another and serve one another to the best of our ability... it's worth it whether people appreciate it or not. If you can evaluate your friendships and say you've helped, not harmed. We're honest, even if it's uncomfortable. Poured into and invested in others as much as you would want them to pour into and invest in you... you should be proud. You can walk away knowing you chose to do the right thing.

Friendships are intended for the purpose of growth. Encouraging one another in relationships with the Lord, encouraging one another as mothers, and wives... growth... not fear, intimidation, manipulation and bad mouthing one another. It's all so shallow and empty... sure when it's new, it's fun for a period of time... but then comes the true test... a disagreement (stemming from sheer emotional exhaustion preparing for deployed husbands to come home bahaha@Mal)  an annoying flaw,  (2 weeks in a hotel room together in a foreign country... @Ashley V. hahahahaha) an ugly rumor or assumption ... in the places of weakness where the front we pose falls away and we just are who we really are... true friends love one another beyond those things, faults, flaws... even downright annoyances. When it's genuine and real, friends can A.) confront in love if it annoys you that badly or B.) accept that those things are just part of who that person is and love them anyway. That's depth...

Even if they are a PMSing B-AH...

(hahaha, yes, I really said that... it happens)

Friendships are not about what people will do for you, make you, or give you. Friendships are about the people involved in them and how they push each other to grow and be better people. Friendships are supposed to be a safe place, when you can confide in one another without fear  of judgment, or of that confidence being broken, where you can go when you need to be heard... or just be told everything will be okay, "I will walk this out with you." where you can go and be honest, and know you'll receive honesty in return.

There are different types of friends:

• the ones you call to talk to when you need to be heard.
• the ones that make you relax, let your hair down and laugh till you pee yourself
• the ones that walk out the hard times right along side you, and are there for many a tear
• the ones who recognize you need to be confronted, or encouraged to do the right thing
• the ones that sharpen and refine you... 

All of these qualities (and the ton more I didn't name) can be found in one person, five people, three people... everyone has different things to offer one another. 

But they all have common threads. an attitude of servitude and grace, acceptance and forgiveness, faithfulness and honesty...

 God is just teaching me what it means to have a friend, and what it means to be a friend...

I can say this... I am so incredibly thankful for my friendships. 

 I hope that I can pour into your lives as you've poured into mine...

on a lighter note...

oh my gosh I just realized... I'm a grown up.... 

HA HA HA............ 

It's been a while...

I know, I know... where in the world have I been?
To answer you honestly, I'm not sure... I've been struggling with some "writers block" or maybe it's been "my life has been topsy turvey lately" block. HAHA.

Nothing has been bad, it's actually probably all good. A new adventure may be afoot. I like to think I am a she-woman who loves to take on a good adventure or two, maybe throw some change into the mix. However, I've noticed something over the last few years since my husbands combat deployment to Iraq... I handle change and separation a little differently. SHOCKER? Probably not, I threw up for 2 days after he came home. My rubber band ball of nerves felt like they'd all sprung lose at the same time!

Anyway, We're looking out on the landscape of some pretty big changes.

We've felt really displaced for about the last 3 and a half to 4 years. We moved from our perfect little house in North Carolina, our INCREDIBLE church we were crazy about. All of our amazing friends who we'd become so close to through deployment. I mean come one, I lived across the street from my still very best friend Mal! Thankfully, she has moved back to Georgia but she still lives almost 2 hours away. I look back on that part of my life with a lot of nostalgia. A lot of good memories, sweet memories, firsts.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back AT ALL... I've got two of the most beautiful little boys this side of the galaxy! But when you're young (I don't think I'm that old yet hahahaha), and in love... you THINK life can't get better. Aaron is/was my first in every sense of the meaning and so every moment with him felt like a perfect adventure. Still does... I love him so.

We've seen our share of some hard times since we moved home.One thing after another... some things that were pretty big blows, some very personal; like the loss of our first child. I was in my second trimester and the loss was considered a "late term" miscarriage. We felt like the baby was a girl so we named her Bella Grace. This among one event after another made us wonder if we'd made the right decision leaving the military and moving back to GA. The following years were full of one trial to the next, and both of us feeling very alone. The only church home I had ever known took a major blow that disheartened me to my core. We couldn't find anywhere where we felt like we "fit" and so we haven't been consistent. My husband broke his leg in a fight with an auto thief, and shortly thereafter suffered a life threatening blood clot and was hospitalized... we've been dealing with blood clot issues since then. I AM NOT complaining, just sharing my experience. These things, among some major more personal things... I didn't handle them all as well as I thought I would/could/should have. I found myself until about 6 months ago... struggling... struggling to be encouraged, struggling to feel motivated to looking forward to what God had in store when I was honestly afraid I'd be "disappointed". There were moments I felt "abandoned". In truth there were days I thought "Lord, where in the world are you?"

My very small human mind huh?

What have I learned? It's okay to walk through valley's... as long as you keep walking.
That's what God's grace is for.

CUE: the open field, the expanse... the freedom!!!

THANK YA JESUS!

Here we are. My marriage... I could go on and on, I am so madly in love with this incredible man, praise God for moving in, and strengthening us! My children... they're almost 3 years (Levi) and 14 months (Blaise) and they are BEAUTIFUL little human beings. Our finances... God's bringing conviction, wisdom, and blessing!

Now here's the part where we're making decisions... and we want it to be the right ones...

I don't want to walk in fear, I want to hear from God... I want to know clearly what we are supposed to do.

We may be making some big changes, and I'm quietly trying to hear exactly where God wants us. We want to feel like we belong because we want to be RIGHT where God wants us, the center of His will. We're ready to "fit" into His will for our lives. We're ready for an awesome church home. We're just READY! Whatever that means, we're listening and want to hear what God says!
 

Mommy of two 2 & under - top 10 must haves!!!

 These are a few of my favorite things...

I always wanted to do a blog post like this, as I've collected things for my boys I've really studied, researched and taken time to consider before investing in them. I thought I'd share my "finds" with you!

I consider them life savers/ peace of mind/convenient/ ooooo I just really LOVE this thing!!!

The titles of each item are connected to the links for those items!

#1  Kolcraft Tandem Stroller  

 These are a few pictures, but they DON'T do this stroller justice... 

The seats are detachable! They are very light, can face toward parent, away from parent, toward sibling, away from sibling, be used with almost every infant car seat thanks to a handy attachment that comes with the stroller (most you have to buy separately) and of all it's amazing perks, they took it up a notch, it also comes with a detachable ipod dock w/ a speaker for us walkin momma's

I was skeptical about how easy it would be to remove the seats and flip them around but I did it three different times in the middle of the mall a few days ago - they are so light and easy to switch around if infant wants to see mommy but toddler wants to face out and/or you need toddler to face infant to entertain him when he's ILL (PHEW!) I won't lie, this stroller is not for the faint of heart, or those who want something they can just toss in and out of the car, the frame is heavy (54lbs) it's tall when folded up so it's a little awkward if you're short (like me) haha. But in my opinion all it's perks make up for it's weightyness BY FAR.

 

 

 

 (not sure why in the world there is a halloween bag in this photo I found?)

#2 Kiddyloo potty seat adjuster

I love this because I didn't want an icky potty seat sitting around with my 10 month old sure to find it. It has an adjustable tab in the back that makes it fit to almost any toilet, has a built in step stool and handles so they can climb up and down by themselves, and MOST importantly, a splash guard... haha, mom's of little boys will greatly appreciate that feature. I really like that Levi can do it himself; if he needs to run to the potty while I'm nursing I won't have to worry about him falling in... it took me 45 minutes to get him off of it the first time he used it because he liked it so much... haha he sat there read Dr. Seuss books.

#3 Skip Hop Pronto Changing Kit

This doesn't really need a lot of explanation, except that it's easy, large enough to hold several diapers, a wipe case, and some booty cream. BUT it's small enough, and has a wristlet attachment so that you can slip it on your arm or button it on the stroller. I also really like that it is wider on the sides then your average straight lined changing pad... it keeps little arms OFF of nasty public changing tables.

# 4 Naturepedic Organic dual firmness crib mattress

Now, this is not a necessity for everyone, but for us, after lots and lots of research we came to the decision it was a necessity for our newborns. It is an expensive investment, but we plan on having at least two more children so we knew we would put it to good use... AND it gave us peace of mind. It is made without the use of harmful chemicals used in conventional baby mattresses to make them "flame retardant" (formaldehyde etc...) It is also dual sided, one side is firmer so new borns don't "sink" into the mattress, flip it to the softer side for toddlers. I also highly recommend this website (just click for link)

 http://www.healthychild.com

 

#5 The Beaba baby cook

 I LOVE mine! My parents got it for me for Christmas when Levi was little and I've been crazy about it ever since. There are several different brands coming out with babyfood makers that are similar and less expensive. This steams, puree's, cooks rice and grain - it does it all. I like it for it's convenience, I can nurse Blaise and by the time I'm done his meal will be cooked, I just puree it and dump it in a bowl. You can purchase a spice ball and a separate rice and grain cooker which are very inexpensive, I think there are several other attachments and goodies you can add to it as well as those.

#8 Food storage pots

I've used several different types of these, some are individual with lids that you can just take and go, some are units with "cubes" like an ice tray. For long term "food cube" storage I prefer the silicone ones you can just push the food cube out of. I do that with items I can't just smush with a fork, the individuals pots with lids are easy for planning meals to grab and go.

#7 All things Melissa and Doug

We LOVE Melissa and Doug, I love the "old school" look of wooden toys, but these have a modern fun and EDUCATIONAL twist. Bright colors, they hold up well... we have lots of the puzzles, learning toys, play sets, and pretend food, we love them all!

#8 Interlocking foam floor mats

These are like giant foam puzzle pieces. We have hardwood floors so when the boys started walking and crawling I was constantly chasing after them to keep them from falling on the hardwood. Also, it's hard to keep clean & my husband is a police officer so I'm always like "I don't even want to know what's on your boots" (If I could get him to remember to take them off... anyone know of a product for that?! People are NO ALLOWED to step on the play mats!!!) We found these and they made things SO much easier. I've seen them at Target, Walmart, Sams Club etc... they're inexpensive and easy to find.

#9 Adjustable waist distressed little boy jeans

What's there to say?! I love dressing my boys like "little men" I especially LOVE distressed blue jeans on my boys... I love getting great deals on them too! Gap, Crazy8, and The Children's Place all offer "grown up" looking jeans in little people adjustable sizes!

#10 Organic coconut oil

So... I LOVE my coconut oil... and so do my kids. It was introduced to me by another "Oatmeal mom" (click "oatmeal mom" for previous blog link... it's good for a giggle) It's great for skin, hair, eyes, and nutrition all around. It contains Lauric Acid which is SUPER HEALTHY for everything from digestion, to eczema, to cancer, to weight loss & even boosting YOUR metabolism (haha, I forgot that benefit, I need to start drinkin the stuff). It's extremely beneficial to baby's health. I put it in the boys food (tastes buttery not tropical, great served on veggies, lentils, avacados etc.) It is also a natural anti-fungal (thrush)     

 

                                                                                             

      There you go, My mommy must haves vol. 1                        

 

Friday the 13th FUNK!

I am by no mean "superstitious" BUT if I didn't know Jesus, today might have started to make me wonder

Was it Friday the 13th AND a full moon?!

Blaise

• Blaise pulled a (kiddie size but wooden) chair down on top of his head creating his first "pop knot"
• He (some how) found a grape & tried to eat it... resulting in one horrifying moment for Mommy
• He has a yeast diaper rash... again. (thanks anti's & strep throat)
• He's cutting 4 or more teeth - two of the evil doers have popped through, there are "pearls" in 4 other places... Levi did the same thing, cut them all within 3 and a half months... You can start praying...
• Would NOT let me put him down, nursed me dry... wondered why I was so sore... hello thrush... OUCH... meet my friend vinegar... OUCH.
• pooped through clothes... TWICE
• spit up... all over me

Levi

• Asked to watch a movie in his room & since I'm working on the baby shower I'm hostessing with some girlfriend's this weekend, I obliged. Ah, quiet... right? I think not... 
• BOOM CRASH BOOM
• toy box broken (antique passed down for years and years)
• Every item in his closet removed and strewn EVERYwhere...
• Marked on his new white shirt with markers
• Pee'd through clothes
• painted himself with organic expensive chocolate pudding
• locked himself in his room... while I was nursing... a baby who didn't want to stop nursing... run w/ baby attached to booby; set free toddler...
• mommy says no; Levi says GOOOOOOOOOOOO (I.E. he didn't listen to a cotton pickin thing I said today)
• rearranged my furniture... seriously...
• Tried to play "basket ball" with my CATERING RACKS (with fresh lovely bows I'd worked on for 2 hours last night) needless to say he missed the shot, but my catering rack did not miss the random pan with olive oil sitting behind it... but bless the Lord my beautiful bow was spared.
• Levi pretty much climbed, karate chopped, jumped, or crumbled everything in his path today...

It was just one of those days

All in the middle of me planning a baby shower... I was wrestling them and...

   THIS: this is just what I've been working on last night & today... not the weeks of prep we've already done (yes, I'm serious about party throwing)... and not what the other 2 girls are working on at home right now...

• I have 22 dessert shots to make (strawberry cheesecake, & "dirt" pie)
• I have strung 9 letters & tied 66 bows
• One of my very best friends, Mandy, and I have tried our hands at hand designing & making almost every item at the shower...
• I have skewered 70 olives, 30 tomatoes, 50 cheese cubes, 30 pickles, 60 dollops of cream cheese, ANNNNNNNND 60 delicately folded pieces of ham... hahaha bet you're wondering "what the heck?"
• annnnnd sliced my hand with... tin foil

Pictures to come!

I am passionate about design... and excited to see how everything turns out...

I don't mind chasing after two cute boys while I do it either... BUT I'm pretty sure they have a "my mommy has something important to do" sensor... so let's act CRAZY....

A day in the life...

Pardon my poo panic

Pardon my poo panic

Tonight we began to wind down our evening and I was getting Levi ready for bed, I flipped back his covers... and was horrified to find an ominous brown pile staring up at me

My breath caught...

You see, all I could remember was the day before yesterday...

We attempted a "naked" day so that every time Levi had the sensation that he needed to use the bathroom he would know to tell me instead of going in his diaper or underwear... I have a lot of friends who've used this method and had a pretty easy time potty training their kids... 

plus, he loved tee teeing on our organic fruit loops

Levi has a routine, he does his "business" twice a day on a normal day... and I can always tell when it's almost that time.

He hides in his closet, behind his door, or behind the leather chair in our living room. Always.

I had just gotten him off round 2 on the potty. We were aiming for every 20 - 30 minutes

He was playing in his room and I didn't think anything about him going in his closet, normally he shuts the doors, if he's got "work" to do plus, he was digging around in his toy box so I went about my laundry duties...

All of the sudden.... I hear "MOMMY MOMMY I POOPED IN DA FLOOOOOOOOR"

did I mention our 9 month old was ALSO in the room playing with Levi, and all I could imagine was the horror stories I've heard from other friends... something about "poo becoming finger paint... or (gulp)... food.

I ran. He ran. We met in the middle...

I saw the poo down the backs of his legs, & went flying past him to secure the baby and started yelling for Aaron (beloved hubs) to come help me.... 

Thank GOD my two years old's WELL KNOWN mischievous streak didn't rear it's naughty little head... 

and my fabulous husband cleaned up the offensive funk in the closet floor

SO....

Tonight when we began to wind down our evening and I was getting Levi ready for bed, and  I flipped back his covers... and was horrified to find an ominous brown pile staring up at me...

upon closer examination I realized he'd tucked some of our afternoons meal on the go (arby's roast beef) into his cowboy boot, and had left it behind in his bed after nap...

I've never been so relieved to see fast food in my life...

(pardon the blur, taken w/ camera phone, old pic,  he's now (mostly) paci broken & no longer sporting a mullet  haha)

- Always - (willing to add a little dramatic flare to your day,)

  Sunshine

Wordless Wednesday #1